Article By Page Park

Originally Published in the Holistic Living Magazine

My story, like all journeys, has lots of twists and turns. I began my career as a mild disabilities special-education teacher. During my teaching career, I saw students begin to have more and more issues with mental health and self-regulation. They didn’t seem to understand how to express their feelings or manage all that was happening to them. I found myself identifying with my students’ feelings when my parents passed. Self-regulation was challenging. After years of being the decision maker for my parents’ care, I had to be ready to take a phone call at a moment’s notice. This was something that I hadn’t had to do before. I was a mess, and a friend suggested I head back to yoga class. Yoga became my haven, my home and my space to self- regulate.

Before yoga, I would relive my grief story. I couldn’t regulate my nervous system. I had been on “alert” for 3 years and didn’t know how to turn it off. I felt alone. I didn’t resonate with support groups. I was drowning. Waves of grief would wash over me and I didn’t always know what to do. I discovered that if I allowed the emotion to flow through me, it would begin to dissipate. I could cry and be with myself for a time. Eventually I learned to live with grief. I grew around it. The tools I learned in yoga became my guide.

We were not meant to continually process the emotions of what happened to us. We are meant to experience it and allow those emotions to move through us. The more we “process” or relive, the more those emotions become rooted in the body. When they come back up, they can manifest as anxiety, depression, illness or other health concerns. When this happens, our mind will try to protect us from it happening again. Self-regulation can guide us in redirecting the mind.

For me, grief became part of my life, and not this thing outside of me that I had to heal. Through yoga, I was able to integrate all of my grieving feelings into who I am. When the waves of grief would come, I knew what to do, how to be with them.

Here are a few ways you can being to incorporate self-regulation into your life:

1. GET IN NATURE
Go for a hike or walk, in the woods or at a local park. Sometimes, for me, I just need to go around the block in my neighborhood – just get outside. Even better if you can pause, take off your shoes, and feel your feet in the grass or sand if you’re near a beach. Take a moment to lean into a tree, feel the vibration of the earth move through you. You can even do this in the city. Soak in the sun, even if it’s behind clouds, breathe in the greenery around you, and listen to the sounds of the birds, bees, locusts and rustling leaves – they’re music. Sometimes if I’m feeling stuck, all I need is a quiet walk. When things get crazy, get outside

2. MEDITATE
Meditation is simply the act of getting in touch with your inner self. It doesn’t need to be a long, drawn- out process. I find that the more I meditate, the better I’m able to handle the crazy, wild, unexpected things that come my way. Meditation can take so many different forms: focusing on your breath for a few minutes, guided journeys, writing morning pages (see the book “The Artist’s Way”). Explore different practices to find what works for you. These can go from a few minutes to 30 minutes. If meditation is new to you, set a timer for two minutes, and focus on your breath or a simple mantra (phrase). Once that becomes easy, increase the time.

3. TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
So often, we do what everyone else wants and desires. We take care of everyone else. We forget to take time for ourselves. I like to curl up with a book, write, walk, or take in a movie or TV show. Want to get really crazy? Go on a retreat or trip on your own.

4. PLAY OR DANCE PARTY IT UP
As adults, we can be so serious. We forget to play, have fun or even have a dance party. Remember your younger self? What did you like to do? Make a choice from those options. I love to have a dance party by myself, turning up the music and just letting my body move. You could also play a game or do something for fun. Remember the days of tag, softball and kickball in the yard? Going to a playground and swinging as high as you can? Use your imagination, laugh, and be silly or goofy.

5. GET REST
Rest is underrated. Our bodies don’t just need sleep, we also need rest. Rest can take forms such as the first four self-regulation ideas. It can also just be the act of doing nothing. Think of the Italian phrase, “Dolce far niente,” which means, “The sweetness of doing nothing.” How often do we do nothing? We are so inundated with screens, social media and obligations, what would happen if we took a little time to just exist and do nothing? When I take time, slow down and set work aside, I’m so much more efficient when I come back. My mind is clearer.

“Research consistently shows that self-regulation skill is necessary
for reliable emotional well being. Behaviorally, self-regulation is
the ability to act in your long-term best interest, consistent with
your deepest values. (Violation of one’s deepest values causes guilt,
shame, and anxiety, which undermine well being.) Emotionally,
self-regulation is the ability to calm yourself down when you’re
upset and cheer yourself up when you’re down.”

—Excerpt from an online article on psychologytoday.com by Steven Stosny, Ph.D

When we consistently use practices to self-regulate, we become aware of our bodies and how we feel. This allows us to be able to recognize when something is off or needs attention. We can better handle stressful situations and even be the one people co-regulate with. We respond, instead of react. We have a well to give from. We have greater capacity to hold ourselves and those around us. We have the tools to use, to bring ourselves back to regulation, back to management, back to baseline. Just remember, if you don’t prioritize your mental well-being, your well-being will force you to prioritize it.

About The Author:  Page Park is a former special-education teacher turned yoga teacher, and life coach with a passion for helping individuals regulate their nervous system using yoga. With 24 years in the classroom and three years as a yoga teacher, Park combines her expertise to empower others in managing stress and fostering well-being for people of any age. She is also a writer, often exploring mindfulness and self-care. In her free time, Park enjoys long walks in nature, connecting with friends, playing with her dog, Pickles, and diving into captivating books. Find her at soulsanctuary.one.